poetry, poems, poem, lesbian, lesbian poetry, lesbian poems, lesbian poem, poetry critique, poetry critic, poem critique, 
poem critic, lesbian poetry critique, lesbian poetry critic, poem submissions, poetry submissions, poetry submission, 
lesbian poetry submission, lesbian poem submission, submit poetry, submit poem, submit poems, submit lesbian poems, submit lesbian poem, submit lesbian poetry poetry, poems, poem, lesbian, lesbian poetry, lesbian poems, lesbian poem, poetry critique, poetry critic, poem critique, 
poem critic, lesbian poetry critique, lesbian poetry critic, poem submissions, poetry submissions, poetry submission, 
lesbian poetry submission, lesbian poem submission, submit poetry, submit poem, submit poems, submit lesbian poems, submit lesbian poem, submit lesbian poetry poetry, poems, poem, lesbian, lesbian poetry, lesbian poems, lesbian poem, poetry critique, poetry critic, poem critique, 
poem critic, lesbian poetry critique, lesbian poetry critic, poem submissions, poetry submissions, poetry submission, 
lesbian poetry submission, lesbian poem submission, submit poetry, submit poem, submit poems, submit lesbian poems, submit lesbian poem, submit lesbian poetry poetry, poems, poem, lesbian, lesbian poetry, lesbian poems, lesbian poem, poetry critique, poetry critic, poem critique, 
poem critic, lesbian poetry critique, lesbian poetry critic, poem submissions, poetry submissions, poetry submission, 
lesbian poetry submission, lesbian poem submission, submit poetry, submit poem, submit poems, submit lesbian poems, submit lesbian poem, submit lesbian poetry
BACK TO HOME PAGE SITE NAVIGATION CONTACT STORY FORUM GENERAL FORUM   Horoscope  Radio  Gallery  FAQ   Search   Memberlist   Usergroups   Register   Profile   PM's   
Log in 

Poetry Forum Index -> Request feedback

poem for feedback..thanks everyone

LifeVita6
  Author    Thread Post new topic Reply to topic
createmyself



Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Posts: 7
poem for feedback..thanks everyone

I have seen you in the eyes of strangers
I have heard you in my dream time symphonies
I have wished for you on the dark edge of hope
and hoped for you in moments of still awakening
I have mistaken you for others
the chattering ego and the carousel of mind thought
have captured my attention
but have not fulfilled me

I have hardened my heart from the belief of abandonment
turned my back on things soft
and chiseled out identities for myself
but this oak cries out for its' roots
the shell cries for wholeness
I sit like cut flowers slowly withering
essence drifting time sands shifting
weathered stone by the waves of outer life
I have tried to carve a niche in the universe without you but
satisfaction alludes me.

All is naught if not for love

Bring back the pulse of the fervor
the passion that sung like a madman
let me drown in the pain of separateness
then fill me with all that is you
hum in my ear the words of the great nothingness
and show me the stars beyond the veils of illusion
peel my heart like layered fruit
let us taste of it together in a lovers feast

teach me to trust again
feed the fires of need
warming until the at last consume
and sear away the rust and tarnish
on this once faithful soul
unfold your breath into mine
purify me into wonderment

mold me back into myself

Post Thu May 01, 2008 10:22 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message AIM Address  Reply with quote  
desert-fish



Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 2777
Location: deleted


powerful poem create Very Happy

Post Wed Jul 09, 2008 3:41 pm 
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail  Reply with quote  
Eiregirl



Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 10230
Location: Chasing a pink bunny


createmyself,

You created a wonderful poem. I can feel the sadness and pain as i read the words. I hear loneliness and need as I speak the words. I see love an hope in the words.

Hugs,
Eiregirl Arrow
_________________
All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.

Post Thu Jul 10, 2008 5:15 am 
 View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website  Reply with quote  
  Display posts from previous:      
Post new topic Reply to topic

Jump to:  


Last Thread | Next Thread  >

Forum Rules:
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
LifeVita3

 

 



Search For Posters!


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group

In Association with Amazon.com
     
Terms & Conditions Privacy Statement Acknowledgements