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GOing with the flow (poem)

 LifeVita6
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createmyself



Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Posts: 7
 		GOing with the flow (poem)

 Going with the flow



Concerns of the instant give way to reflection

Here we are again at the crossroads

Look into their minds

Those on the edge of vision

And find the mental habits of submission

Suffocating free thought

Wrapped in the tentacles of fear

Identity crisis is almost an obsession

In the mysterious city that turns humans

Into machines

From embryo to ashes

The spiral of development is pointed downward

When we are fenced in

For our own safety

To a society

We did not invent

Notes of hope as if frozen in time

Fall like snowflakes

Individual and unique

To the ground of sameness

Blank space inhabited by nameless

Strange faces

Set against the backdrop of a checkerboard game

The cycle of life in a structure that symbolizes

The giant at banquet eating up everything in its path

Like a dying forest wrapped in fiery embrace

It calls for help with windblown smoke signals

Distorted in the air before translation

These lost languages

When trying to ponder the deeper motives of

“going with the flow”

we are hinted with myths that dueled to the death

The rape of Goddesses by Gods of a newer world

Leaving us

Introspective inside behaviorist expectations

The isolation seems to give an extra edge to

Every human hurt

The sensory organ of empathy is overloaded

And the ship wrecks into melancholic ignorance.
Post Thu Aug 23, 2007 4:18 am 
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Eiregirl



Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 10230
Location: Chasing a pink bunny

create,

It is a joy having you here...

Wonderful poem...fantastically done

Eiregirl Arrow
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All poems and stories posted by Eiregirl are Copyright 2005 - 2008 Aoibhegréine These literary works are my property under copyright. If you wish to use my work for any purpose please ASK FIRST.
Post Thu Aug 23, 2007 5:07 am 
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poeticrendezvous



Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 278
Location: IL

We all interpret something differently in poems. But I will share with you my thoughts.

There are a number of lines that indicate a resentment towards external forces, or the world you are writing about.

"Concerns of the instant give way to reflection
Here we are again at the crossroads
"Look into their minds
Those on the edge of vision
And find the mental habits of submission
Suffocating free thought"

That statement speaks to me of a challenge to examine external norms, values, rules, rituals and habits against internal ones.



"Identity crisis is almost an obsession
In the mysterious city that turns humans
Into machines
From embryo to ashes"

This is an interesting statement. Could mean many things but insightful in following the last statement in that once again externalizing personal value and worth brings crises. It's funny, in liberal societies...evaluating identity, norms, values, rewards etc takes a lot longer in time than in conservative ones which seems to limit personal 'conflict' as many idea's, beliefs and the cultures ways are unconscionably accepted. Kids who grow up in those extreme fundamental countries automatically have their values and norms and ways of life set in many cases unless they are given something else to work with.

"The spiral of development is pointed downward
When we are fenced in
For our own safety
To a society
We did not invent"

Cognitive or external statement?

I love these lines following... it is poetically light and dark at the same time.

"Notes of hope as if frozen in time
Fall like snowflakes
Individual and unique
To the ground of sameness"

This is also another of my favorite lines...

"Like a dying forest wrapped in fiery embrace
It calls for help with windblown smoke signals
Distorted in the air before translation
These lost languages"

That is a very powerful statement and wonderfully written, there is so much I can take from that!

and here is the crux of all your descriptions and going back to internalize...

"Introspective inside behaviorist expectations
The isolation seems to give an extra edge to
Every human hurt
The sensory organ of empathy is overloaded
And the ship wrecks into melancholic ignorance"

Like I said, we all take something different from the poem and many times it is no where near what the writer had in mind. But the gift of poetry is like that, it shares and allows something to be given to the reader in the freedom of interpretations.










Post Sat Dec 29, 2007 6:41 pm 
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