I know the smile you hide behind when your world falls apart
I reckognize the saddness of a guarded heart
I understand the fear of to love and to lose
the feeling of being torn, not wanting to choose
I watch the way you look when your all alone
Revealing the true emotions that are never shown
I sense the confusion and pain of a wounded soul
I have also felt that emptyness in never feeling whole
I too have tryed to make good memories last
While running from a horrifying past
Now we stand face to face, both asking who is she
As I stare in the mirror at a reflection of me
As I tell everyone…
Disclaimer
For your information the following input by me is my own personal opinion and suggestions (after all that is what you want and asked for).
My opinion/suggestions are offered as constructive criticism so take nothing I say personally since I may be blunt and to the point.
You may freely use anything or nothing that I have suggested that is up to you.
Line 2 “reckognize” should be spelled “recognize” and “saddness” should be spelled “sadness”
Line 3 consider removing “of” or insert a , after of “of,” leave as is and put “to love and to lose in quotation marks. Another possibility would be to revise lines 3 and 4
Something like…
“I understand being torn, not wanting to choose”
“I know the feeling behind, to love and to lose”
Line 8 “emptyness” should be spelled emptiness”
Line 9 “tryed” should be spelled “tried”
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum