I'm sure a lot of you know from my poetry...I am struggling....I try to be thoughtful....don't raise my voice....am not disrespectful and try to be upfront and honest.....it seems all the good women go for the bad girls...What am I doing wrong? I would appreciate your comments. Thyank you...I don't want to be negative, or hateful or filled with rage....
Peace,
Linda _________________ a poets heart is never empty....
Linda Bray
Tue Sep 27, 2005 6:32 am
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
Don't know you real well, but your pain is unmistakable. Your writings are telling a very whole story - bit by bit. I'm hesitant to say anything but am inclined to plow ahead anyway because it hurts to witness this. But i'd like you to know that i'm proud for you, to witness this. I hope that made some sense. (I do not take pleasure in another's pain.)
I understand what you say about yourself not being proud just this moment. Its been a long time since i 100% felt what you are thrashing about in the middle of right now. Regardless, i DO remember and it hurts like hell..... Hopefully, you know there's no faking it here at Mel's...
While you may not be proud of your product (writing) the last couple days, and i admit, some of it is real difficult to read (not because of style), you should take pride in the fact that you aren't trying to bury yourself under a stack of cottonballs dodging the falling bricks. You should be proud of yourself for grabbing the pain by the balls, smashing it against a wall and investigating each glimmer.
What you're doing is not easy but you're doing one hell of good job. Its difficult alone surrounded with unbroken solitude let alone in a public forum. While i don't have any cure-all statement or wisdom, i do understand (as you also do) ya gotta do what you're doing to get beyond this moment in time in order to come out the other side a healthy woman. Granted, battle worn and with a bit more reluctance to take another plunge.... BUT stronger, wiser and eventually more gentle with yourself.
I'm fairly certain that if any of us knew the magic words, we'd yell them good and loud to make this all stop and go away for ya. I'm sorry but i don't know the words.
Hugs, Peace and love to you.
Tue Sep 27, 2005 7:01 am
Linda Bray
Joined: 22 Aug 2004
Posts: 4052
Cave,
I do appreciate your time and response. i don't really know what I'm feeling from one moment to the next but I need validation..I need to know I'm not crazy or a heartless person....I just want to be normal...and laugh agian..and love and trust. Thank you for your time and i wih you many blessings. Take good care.
Peace,
Linda _________________ a poets heart is never empty....
Linda Bray
Tue Sep 27, 2005 7:56 am
Cavewoman
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby
You are not crazy.
You are not heartless.
You are normal.
You are loveable.
You are worthy of love.
If none of the above were true, you wouldn't give a damn about what has happened, how you feel or how she feels.
But you do.
You will laugh again.
You will love again.
You will soar with unexhaustable wings again.
Just maybe not today.
Peace.
Tue Sep 27, 2005 8:13 am
Linda Bray
Joined: 22 Aug 2004
Posts: 4052
Cave,
Thank you so much...I am hoping that you are right....but you are correct....I just don't feel it today. I wish you well.
Peace,
Linda _________________ a poets heart is never empty....
Linda Bray
Tue Sep 27, 2005 8:19 am
DarkChyldesKiss Site Admin
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 3381
Location: Inner Sanctum
Linda,
I just ran across this so I'm adding my two cents worth.
As one of the good women, I agree that alot of women tend to want the bad girls. Thing is the relationships don't succeed and eventually they are alone again. The qualities that women seek in bad girls are for a quick thrill that won't last. Sometimes these women then realize what they've lost when they let the good woman slip through their fingers.
As a good woman, I sometimes I've lost faith that there is a good woman waiting for me somewhere.
From one good woman to another, if you keep the faith I'll try to keep the faith.
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