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The waffle making experience
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DamagedGoods



Joined: 13 May 2006
Posts: 550
The waffle making experience

This is a true story, and although it has nothing to do with mels, some of you may get a laugh. I'm glad I can still see the humour, even in annoying situations!

The other day I bought a waffle and waffle cone maker... it looked simple and quick and my daughter loves waffles.

Tonight, I made the mistake of actually trying to use it.

Step 1. Make the batter... no worries with that one.

Step 2. Lightly grease waffle maker.

Step 3. Pour mixture onto one side of waffle maker and spread with a non stick spatula.

Ok here's where I first ran into problems. You see, I don't HAVE a non stick spatula. So I decided I'd see what happens if you use a stick spatula. What happens is the mixture clings to spatula and swirls around the lightly greased waffle maker.... but doesn't spread at all. However after wrestling for a while and adding a few artistic dabs with the extra mixture I figured I had that bit all figured out.

Ok, now the easy bit. Cook until golden brown on each side, approximately 3 minutes. After 1 minute the hissing noise alerts me to the fact that the mixture is pouring out the sides of the waffle maker in copious amounts. The faster I try and scrape it off with that sticky spatula, the faster it leaks out. After 3 minutes I flip the maker and continue trying to catch the mixture free flowing onto the stove.

Time to take out my nice golden waffle... ummm ok... the flat, holey, floppy thing doesnt much resemble my visions of crispy golden waffle cones. Especially after scraping it out with that spatula. Hmmm, if at first you don't succeed....

I figured my mistake was not cooking it long enough. So after wrestling batter into the maker and spreading and dabbing to make it even I put it back on the stoveagain. Copious amounts pour out of the waffle maker, but I've gotten faster with that spatula and only half ends up on the stove. After 5 minutes each side I open up the waffle maker expectantly... ummm... not really what I was hoping for. The waffle is glued, half to each side of the pan in a rock hard mess.... second attempt gets washed down the sink.

By this time I've figured out that 'lightly grease' means use about 1/4 tub of margarine per side. Once again I battle the mixture into the pan. Did I mention how big and bulky this thing is? This time I decide to try the directions for thicker waffles which states I should leave the pan open for the first ten minutes. I put the open pan on the stove and turn to clean up some of the mess. Crash! Pan slides from stove, splattering fridge, oven, cupboards, floor and myself with sticky waffle batter. (Helpful preteen yells from the computer room "Did anything break?")

Spend next 15 minutes cleaning floors, oven, cupboards, walls etc (how in the world did it splash up that high?!) Again wash remains of attempt 3 down the sink and apply copious amounts of margarine to "lightly grease" waffle pan. This time after beating the mixture into submission inside the maker I hold the open handle so it can't slide. Do you have any idea how hot those handles get?? Race to sink, hold hand under running water, while attempting to keep batch 4 on the stove. Despite the obvious dangers, this method does at least stop the mixture running down the sides and we are getting somewhere!

Preteen wanders out and looks at attempt 1. "Is it meant to be white like that mum, I thought it was meant to be golden bro...." She catches a look at my expression and trails off, beating a hasty retreat back to the computer room.

Attempt 4 is not white... in fact its tending towards black... but it is an improvement and I'm feeling proud of myself. All I have to do is wrap the soft flexible waffle around the cone maker before it cools and hardens. Easy said... until you attempt to actually wrap burning hot waffle around slippery plastic cone... in a hurry so it doesn't harden. Race back to sink and run hand back under cold water! Finally pull finished product from cone maker.... and watch it crumble into pieces!

Call kid from computer room and announce that dessert tonight is tinned peaches and icecream... child looks at my face and wisely witholds her giggles to reply "sounds great, mum!"

Anyone want to buy a barely used waffle maker?
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All poems posted by me, unless otherwise stated, are written by me, DamagedGoods, and are ©2002-2009 and must not be used anywhere else without written permission and my copyright details in tact. Thank you.
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Post Sun Jun 04, 2006 4:09 am 
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Xalia1
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Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 3702
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DG,

LMAO! Laughing
I think I'll stick to frozen waffles and store bought cones.
Too funny, thanks for sharing.

Hugs,
Xalia
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Post Sun Jun 04, 2006 4:17 am 
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chordphrute



Joined: 04 Jul 2005
Posts: 1412
Location: Nouvelle Orléans, Louisiane


LMAO
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Post Sun Jun 04, 2006 4:18 am 
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lemons



Joined: 12 Feb 2006
Posts: 964
Location: here ... with her <3


Hilarious DG!!!! Laughing

so glad you shared this with us! And I laugh even more because I very easily would be doing the same darn thing! lmao

Lem
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Post Sun Jun 04, 2006 3:59 pm 
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Lizzy_tish



Joined: 19 Mar 2006
Posts: 95
Location: N.California


That was hysterical, perfect story to read with my sunday morning cup of coffee. Thank You.

Post Sun Jun 04, 2006 4:09 pm 
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Jules



Joined: 22 Feb 2005
Posts: 904
Location: Home


ROFL....This was great DG, thanks so much for telling us...This may almost surpass Jack's hotbox story!!
Jules
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Post Sun Jun 04, 2006 5:15 pm 
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1seed



Joined: 18 Dec 2005
Posts: 93
Location: midwest, USA


Thank you for sharing.

Easily the best laugh I've had all day.



seed

Post Sun Jun 04, 2006 6:45 pm 
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Stuckinahs



Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 39
Location: New York


Very funny! Don't guess we'll be expecting an invitation to your house for waffles anytime soon.

Post Sun Jun 04, 2006 9:20 pm 
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mystikshine13



Joined: 22 Feb 2006
Posts: 86


haha Good story! I hope your hands ok. At the beginning I was like they make waffle cone makers...I want one! by the end that idea totally changed lol.

Post Mon Jun 05, 2006 12:26 am 
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DamagedGoods



Joined: 13 May 2006
Posts: 550


I'm so glad people got a laugh from this. It wasn't terribly funny at first, then while my daughter and I were eating dessert I got the giggles and couldn't stop! I love finding the humour in situations and I'm sure that's why I'm happier than most of the people I know. I don't take much too seriously, although I can be serious when I have to be. Thanks for laughing along with me, made writing it worth it!

Stucky, you're welcome for waffles anytime.... I hear Sarah Lea frozen waffles are really good! Razz

Mystikshine, oh you so have to get one. They are absolutely hopeless at making waffles... but you sure get the best laugh!! Want mine?? LMAO!
_________________
All poems posted by me, unless otherwise stated, are written by me, DamagedGoods, and are ©2002-2009 and must not be used anywhere else without written permission and my copyright details in tact. Thank you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Post Mon Jun 05, 2006 2:12 am 
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beautifullyjaded



Joined: 04 Sep 2005
Posts: 289
Location: lost in love


*can't breathe, can't stop laughing*
That's why I don't cook
hugs,
Bj
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Post Mon Jun 05, 2006 2:37 am 
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lostgrl913



Joined: 21 Apr 2006
Posts: 153
Location: PA


you know those waffle makers make nice decrations. my mom has an OLD one that she uses as a candle holder. lol you story is probally why she doesnt use it. i will have to ask. Thanks for the giggles. hope the hands are doing ok.

Post Mon Jun 05, 2006 1:12 pm 
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DanceofSorrows



Joined: 29 Aug 2004
Posts: 2837


hehe

Post Tue Jun 06, 2006 2:42 pm 
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P-Chanmisao



Joined: 08 Jun 2006
Posts: 75
Location: Colorado


Aww, too bad. Hey, at least peaches are tasty too! Very Happy
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Post Thu Jun 15, 2006 6:39 am 
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Eilidh
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Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 1880


DG,
I find myself coming back to read this story over and over again. It's good you can see the humor in it--I had a similar experience with a waffle maker when I was younger, but it wasn't nearly as hilariously well-articulated. Thanks for sharing.

~Carsonspire

Post Fri Jun 16, 2006 2:58 am 
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