is one possible without the other? I mean.. is it possible to truly forgive without forgetting?
Fri Oct 29, 2010 10:51 am
MysteryGirl Moderators
Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder
Jezzie, I don't think there is a blanket answer to your question but as a theoretical queston, yes I do believe it is possible. For many years I carried a lot of hurt/anger inside me re the way I was treated by someone and that weight can get so heavy. I used to think you had to DO both and I just couldn't see HOW I could forget? It took a good friend to explain that it wasn't necessary to do it all at once. If I wanted to free myself from the burden then forgiving was the first step and I reached a stage in my life where I was able to completely and honestly forgive this person. And when I did that I found what happened was the memories didn't hurt so much and i thought about them less and less. I don't think you ever truly forget, but it becomes something no longer important in your life when you forgive. And as time goes by they mean less and less.
So yes, for me in that situation, it was possible to forgive without forgetting.
HugZ, Noni _________________ Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!
Fri Oct 29, 2010 12:07 pm
Xalia1 Moderators
Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 3702
Location: In love
Jezzie,
Forgiving is NOT easy in some cases...I know this well. Sometimes its so hard to let something go, it hurts so deep and you just hold onto it wishing that the person who inflicted the pain on you could feel just as badly...and then one day you realize - hate & anger don't hurt anyone but you. The person who hurt you or did you wrong doesn't know how you feel inside, and it affects your entire life. To let that anger go, and let yourself be at peace, while at the same time releasing that person can make a world of difference. Its like saying to them or yourself - yes, you hurt me and I can't help how much it has affected me, but I forgive you because no one is perfect.
Its amazing how much difference that can make to the person doing the forgiving and even if the person you've forgiven doesn't care, it doesn't matter, cuz you're at peace with yourself.
Forgetting is impossible - but what you can do is put it away. Once forgiveness has been achieved its a lot easier to just push that memory to the back of your mind a little further each chance you get. Perhaps after time, it will have floated so far back that you rarely if ever think about it. That's about as good as I've been able to get it so far.
Hope this helped, even though its just my opinion.
Hella Hugs,
Xalia _________________ Nobody said life would be easy...They just promised it would be worth it.
~♥♥~
~The words fail me.. because what I feel for you is beyond description...~
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