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help!!! i need some advice....

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sadie



Joined: 01 Sep 2008
Posts: 6
Location: Tennessee
help!!! i need some advice....

ok, i'm new here, so not sure what exactly i am doing... i am 35 years old, was married for five years, that didn't turn out so well... i have always had thoughts about being with a woman, but i just figured that most women do, it's a curiousity... i met this woman about nine months ago, we became instant best friends... she's only 29, recently divorced with a one year old, she was only married for a little over a year. She had been with women before, was with one for six years. She says she was just confused and she says she's straight. One night she tells me that she has something on her mind but she was too uncomfortable to talk about it, so i gave her my notebook and pen and told her to write, so she did, she finished and handed it to me and i read it and well to say the least i am very confused by it... she says she didn't want to talk about it so we haven't... then one night she asked me if i wanted be with her, i told her that i had thought about it and yes i thought i would like to try it but i was scared, cuz i had never done it before. she said we could be together one time and that's it, because she would get confused and she would get too emotional. We agreed it would be once and it would be our secret. So we were together one night, it was absolutely amazing, more than i had expected... there was so much feeling behind every touch... she held me in her arms and we fell asleep, the next day it was like it never happened, we didn't talk about it or anything... then it happened again about two weeks later, and same as before she held me all night and the next morning we went about everything same as usual.. i don't understand what she wants from me, i am scared to bring it up because i don't want to scare her off... i have always enjoyed being with men, but i can't get those two nights out of my head... she spends the night with me alot, i have an extra bedroom, but she always sleeps in my bed, we don't touch or anything she stays on her side i on mine... i am just very confused... she talks about men to me and i admit it makes me jealous.. i think i may be in love with this woman, i'm not sure what i'm feeling. i just wish i knew what she was feeling... i keep hoping that she will bring it up, but it doesn't happen and i'm afraid too, i just don't know what to do, i don't want to lose my best friend... my womens intuition tells me that she is a lesbian, but so desparately wants to be straight, because when she got with her first girlfriend her mother beat her, she was only fourteen. I just know that she doesn't deal well with confrontation or talkin about feelings. I just don't know what to do, can someone please give me some advice.... i'm having a hard enough time trying to figure out my feelings, and the constant looking for signals from her is driving me insane....

Post Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:01 am 
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storybellz



Joined: 15 Dec 2006
Posts: 241
Location: U.S.A


I'm not in the right frame of mind (and haven't been for quite some time) to give advice. But, i just had to take this time to at least commend you, for being so caring anbd patient with your friend, particularly in times of high emotion, when she needed it most. It would have been so easy for you to just get frustrated, and become pushy, when wanting more confirmation from her. But, instead, you acted with heart and wit; asking her to write down what she was feeling, if she didn't want to speak it was very thoughtful of you! And, also very bennificial to both sides of the relationship.

So, i guess i just want to give my best wishes to you, and let you know that i think that as long as you remain your same patient an d composed self, i think all will work-out for you in time.

Peace be with you.

Post Fri Sep 19, 2008 2:25 am 
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