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Marriage and Children

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belle_australienne



Joined: 09 May 2005
Posts: 7
Marriage and Children

A few of my gay friends are starting to talk marriage and children....

Just curious, umm how does that work? Isnt gay marriage generally illegal? (I live in NSW aus)

and as naive as it sounds, what kind of options do lesbian or gay couples have in terms of having kids...

Thanks guys
Jess

Post Sun May 15, 2005 12:13 am 
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Phoenix
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Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 1664
Location: Tallahassee Florida


Trying not to snicker, but women have been having kids without the benefit f marriage for a long long time..... so all one has to do is get pregnant and voila.... Un Bambino is on the way. Gay male couples have a harder time.


It is a very tough issue, but here in the states some have worked around it.

brat
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Post Sun May 15, 2005 12:29 am 
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belle_australienne



Joined: 09 May 2005
Posts: 7


dont snicker....

What I meant is a woman and a woman together on their own are never going to get pregnant no matter how much they try.... neither is a guy and a guy.

So you know I was asking about the legalties of you know adoptions by same sex couples, assisted reproduction etc etc...

and yeah I know about how easy it is for someone to have a baby outside of marriage.... I have a son who was... but you know that was when I was with a guy... pretty easy in those circumstances... not so when with a girl...

Perhaps I should've phrased my question better.

Post Sun May 15, 2005 12:56 am 
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Libragirl



Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 130
Location: in front of a cosy fireplace.....


Just a bit of interesting info...
In South AFrica we had our first legal gay wedding in December 2004.(yes- and it was a lesbian couple)
Of course there was an appeal to the court's decision to make it legal but now..after 5 months it sticks and Government has decided that it is now legal for guy couples to get married.We don't have ANY FORM of discrimination here whatsoever.
The Bill of Rights are undergoing major changes as well to accomodate the rights of Gays in Marriage.
The rest of the world refer to us as the"rainbow Nation" and that is true.
( all the different colours{ races,religions,sexual preferances} bound together to form a beautiful rainbow AFTER the stormy weather we had endured over the past millenium)
(an extract from our Bill of Rights)
".....Everyone is equal before the law and has the right to equal protection and benefit of the law.Provision is made for affirmative action to protect and advance the interest of people who have been disadvantaged by unfair discrimination.The State may not unfairly discriminate,directly or indirectly,on ANY grounds,including race,gender,sex,pregnancy,marital status,ethnic or social origin,colour,SEXUAL ORIENTATION,age,disability,religion,conscience,belief,culture,language and birth.No person may discriminate against another on any of these grounds either, and legislation to prevent this will be enacted in future"

(sorry for getting carried away with this thread but I guess that's the Lawyer in me...always fighting for Justice Laughing )

I wish that some other countries will follow the example of this little one down here.
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Post Sun May 15, 2005 8:54 am 
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MistressHaven



Joined: 16 Apr 2005
Posts: 400
Location: Austin, Tx


My wife and I are going to be officially "married" in december. However the way that we have to do it in Texas is get a Partnership. Luckily we are Pagan so we can have an actual wedding but we will have an ordained minister who will do the hand fasting. Paper wise it is called a partnership.

As far as children go. They are cracking down really hard here. There is a state representative that is trying to make it to where no gay couples can adopt. As is it is difficult enough. They even go as far as getting CPS (child protective services) to take blood children away from there parents because of same sex. It is ridiculous. However, Austin is very liberal and I doubt this asshole will be able to get very far. Excuse my french but this is a big issue in Austin right now. And obviously a big issue with us because although we have a son and a daughter we would like to adopt a little girl within the next couple of years.

Hope that helped

Mel
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Post Sun May 15, 2005 1:26 pm 
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Lacquer Paint



Joined: 10 May 2005
Posts: 10


We have problems here in California too. My girlfriend and I are going to have a ceremony. I am Pagan, and my girlfriend is Buddhist, so... we have some very creative ideas for the ceremony. California doesn't recognize gay marriages either, so we will have a 'domestic partnership'.

As for having kids (I don't need anymore! I have 5 already.) but there are SO many ways of going about that. Here in West Hollywood, we have a center for gay and lesbians that have alot of resources like legal aid, counseling, single parent groups, medical aid, etc.

Post Mon May 16, 2005 4:00 pm 
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undone



Joined: 30 Mar 2005
Posts: 152


i'm lucky in that i live in masschusetts, and there are gay weddings all the time in cambridge, and lucky too in that my kids are happy with my being out, having a sort of 'well, it's about time!" attitude, and my daughter's gay, we all joke about having an ambiguous family. on the other hand, i was reading in the paper the latest poll and the country's obviously still opposed to gay marriage which can make for problems if child custody laws connect an ex who's gay to an ex who's vindictive. i don't have a gf living with me, and i suppose when that happens, it would take some adjustment with the kids and all, but it'd be an adjustment to the person,, which is just part of life, like my knowing their various others, and i don't know, i wouldn't want to 'have' more kids, but if my gf had kids, i'd be happy to love them as my own and would hope she would feel the sameabout mine,

undone
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Post Mon May 16, 2005 7:11 pm 
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belle_australienne



Joined: 09 May 2005
Posts: 7



quote:
They even go as far as getting CPS (child protective services) to take blood children away from there parents because of same sex.


See that is my NEW worry...

I have a beautiful amazing gorgeous 18mth old son, by my ex. Who, lets put it this way, is EXTREMELY homophobic. To the point where he didnt want me to move in with my best friend of 9yrs, who is the best guy I have ever met and loves and adores matt (my son) like he is his own son.... because hes gay.

I cant see my ex ever accepting me being in a lesbian relationship. I dont know whether he'd succeed but I can just see him trying to legally take custody away from me....

Crying or Very sad anyone have any aussie information?

Post Tue May 17, 2005 2:41 am 
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Mairi bheag



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland


Twenty years ago, an emotional wreck, I gave up dating girls, and married my best (male) friend in order to have children. I raised two good sons, who are the only good thing to come out of this. I spent twenty years in the closet, my husband and I have been celibate for 16 years. I hurt myself, and I hurt a good man (yes, there are some). But for my two boys I would regret the whole thing. Sometimes life sucks.

Confession over

Mb
xx
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Post Tue May 17, 2005 6:21 am 
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