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My freaken room mate

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Melgrj7



Joined: 30 Oct 2007
Posts: 47
Location: Rochester, NY
My freaken room mate

I was in an 8 year relationship up until a little over a year ago. We were married and everything, loved each other, but it just didn't work. Anyway, I haven't had or wanted a relationship over the past year and few months, I've gone out with people on a few dates, slept with plenty of girls I generally have a 3 date rule, I'll go out on 3 dates and thats it. Well in March I was at a bar getting a drink after a day in the ER (turns out I have tendonitis in my shoulder) and a girl comes up to me. We hang out at the bar and then again a few more times, and then we start dating. I broke my 3 date rule for her (cause she is awesome), we decided to be girlfriends, but she ended that after a few weeks. We decided to be friends, because well we get along really well, have a lot of the same interests and just like to hang out.

So . . . now she is my roommate. We both lost our jobs around the same time and financially this was just a helpful choice for both of us. She has been living here for 2 months just about. She is confusing the hell out of me. She sleeps in my bed cuddled up with me most nights, sometimes we have sex, sometimes she kisses me and holds my hand. Other times she acts like we are nothing more than close friends. I told her not long ago that this was confusing for me and it needed to stop because I knew I would get hurt. So it did stop for awhile, but well, we both had some bad stuff happen in our lives (my uncle died) and then it was pride weekend and we both just wanted comfort. So, it started up again. The other night we went out for drinks and she was asking me all these questions about what I think about certain things with relationships and then when we walked home she held my hand. Then it was back to how she usually is, which is acting like we are just friends (except at bed time). I'm so confused. I know she is sleeping with other people too, and has an okcupid profile. But why does she keep doing this? I am fine with just having sex with friends, thats not a big deal, its all the cuddling and stuff she does . . . sometimes when she thinks I'm asleep she kisses the back of my neck. If we go out together and someone else hits on me she gets jealous. There has been 2 times when she said she wanted to go to another bar so i said ok and asked her once we left why, she said it was because all the girls in the bar were staring at me. I guess I know I need to tell her again this needs to stop, but its so hard, I am into her a lot and its so nice to have someone to cuddle with, but I'm pretty sure I am going to get hurt. It was so hard to do it once, I don't know if I can turn her away again. I'm just frustrated. Thanks for letting me vent.

Post Sat Jul 28, 2012 11:55 pm 
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MysteryGirl
Moderators


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder


You say you dont want to get hurt....but surely this is happening already. She IS hurting you...you dont understand her behaviour, feel insecure because you dont know where you stand and the whole situation is upsetting. To me that IS hurt.

While she it seems gets the best of both worlds. She has sex when SHE wants it, cuddles when SHE wants them, goes out with other people when SHE wants to, denies you the chance to be approached by anyone else because SHE doesnt like it etc etc.

I think you need to wake up hon and smell the coffee. Imagine your letter was written by someone else. What advice would you give them? This girl is USING you, as the old saying goes, she has her cake and she is eating it too. Your only decision is whether you are happy to continue to be her doormat or not. Only you know the answer to that.




HugZ, MG
_________________
Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!

Post Sun Jul 29, 2012 10:49 pm 
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Melgrj7



Joined: 30 Oct 2007
Posts: 47
Location: Rochester, NY


Yeah:( I kicked her out of my bed (again). Ugh. I wish I just didn't have feelings for her it would make things a lot easier. Sad Thanks for replying.

Post Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:37 pm 
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