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So so tired...

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Navy girl



Joined: 12 Oct 2009
Posts: 18
So so tired...

I know I've complained about this before, and I know its such a cliche but I've gone and done it - I've fallen for my straight best friend.

I tried what everyone says to do, I was honest about it, I tried to back away. But our lives are so entertwined (same school, same job) its almost impossible to get some sense in my head with her so close all the time.

But she's started dating online now and it makes it all that much more real. She's never dated, never kissed and its so easy for me to delude myself, but now its impossible, and everytime I see her smile at her phone / computer, I want to cry. I want to go back to before, but even still I knew this was inevitable.

Its so stupid but I just can't make it go away. I know she's a bad friend sometimes, and much harsher these days, harder to handle. I just can't back away correctly. When I let her in she hurts me, and its like coming down from a bigtime drug. When I try to keep her out, I feel bad, and she always sneaks back in.

It hurts so much all of the time. Nothing feels real today. Nothing feels right. I just don't know what to do.
_________________
Two roads diverge in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost

Post Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:13 am 
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