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Xalia1
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Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 3702
Location: In love
Where To Start...

Ladies,

Its been quite a while since I've posted on the boards about anything personal to me, but today I simply need to get it out. Its going to be a long one....

In the past 2 months, I have been disowned from my parents (I'm almost 30 years old...) lost one of my best "friends", and generally just shut myself down.
My mother has had issues for the last few years with a lot of my family, but somehow, I never thought she'd turn things around on me. I've had her back for so long...even at the expence of my own health, and yet, its not enough. I've watched her literally beat down my family (her 5 bro & sis) until there is nothing left there of any kind of bond they might have shared. Then I watched as she tore herself up over it, and calling it justified anger. I watched as the hate consumed her, and then one day, it turned on me. My step-father, whom I have always loved more than any other man on earth, now calls me a liar, a b**ch, a theif...anything he can think of to get a rise out of me. He used to call me daughter. He posts things on facebook in his status, where it is listed that he only has one child, my brother, and spouts out his words of "wisdom". I wouldn't call it wisdom to act like a teenager, airing my dirty laundry out for the world to see....I think I have lost all respect for them both, yeah...its gone.
I have returned everything at my house that ever belonged to them....after having to call the cops on them for attempting to ambush my house while they thought I wasn't there, using the key I gave them long ago. *shakes head* Its still not enough....I don't know what they want from me.
I haven't responded to any of the threatening texts they send me...any of the messages they send me through other people...or any of the facebook drama they have created....and yet...I am still a liar, a theif, etc....
The only thing I have done wrong (in my mind, which could be wrong, who knows anymore?) was not kiss my mother's ass on Mother's Day...She threw a big fit over a fight my bro had with his g/f...1 week before their wedding...and canceled Mother's Day. We still went over and had dinner with her, but evidently we were supposed to try harder to make her better rather than just eat and leave...which is more than she told us we were "allowed" to do fo her.
That is SERIOUSLY what ALL of this is about....
I apologized so many times between Mother's & Father's Day just to make her feel better that I lost count. So on Father's Day, my step-dad says to just take Mom out to b-fast...that can make up for Mother's Day & take care of his Father's Day present. So, whether I thought that was fair or not (which I didn't) I did as he asked, and we were taking her out...but she called b4 I went to pick her off, pissed because he told her what he asked us to do. Well....I lost it. I went off on her for all the things that she has put me & my bro through over the last 3 years...and I meant everything I said. I'm not sorry. It was a long time coming.

My friend since high school is also a friend of hers...she knows a LOT about me...and has evidently joined forces with my parents. She's a drama queen and enjoys attention...I guess she gets more of both siding with them. She knows about my past...which is jaded at best. She texted my wife 60 text messages last night, basically trying to ruin my marriage by telling her what she thought were my "secrets". As though there is anything about me that my wife doesn't know?!! I sold my ass to pay bills, I keep money from my check before putting it in the bank, I don't like my wife's parents, etc....guess what...it didn't work.
She could have ruined my whole world, out of spite, and I have done nothing to her to deserve it....she believes lies my mother tells her, and now thinks that I told one of her secrets to my mother, so she is spilling all of mine. I don't care anymore. I know who I am. I am NOT a liar, and I don't keep secrets if I can help it. My parents are the only ones in my world that don't (didn't) know about all of that....and I simply don't care anymore if they do or not. I know she is going to tell them today....and my mother is great friends with my boss....let's see how it rolls. I'm ready for whatever happens.
I have some fantastic friends that have my back, an awesome brother with his new wife, and the most beautiful woman that holds my hand and tells me that what they say doesn't matter, because she loves me for who I am.
I consider myself lucky, and I'm not giving anymore time to the drama that I can't control, or the people that don't respect me enough or love me enough to show any shred of decency.
I'm sorry for the ramble ladies...I know its long, and probably full of too much info...but....I needed a place to rant because I refuse to do it anywhere they may see. I will not let them know they get to me, silence is my weapon, and my own way of getting closure.

Thank You Ladies.

Xalia Exclamation
_________________
Nobody said life would be easy...They just promised it would be worth it.
~♥♥~
~The words fail me.. because what I feel for you is beyond description...~

Post Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:22 pm 
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wishonastar



Joined: 23 Jan 2007
Posts: 967
Location: Where I belong


(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((X))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Girl you are Strong in spite of them. I know I am no longer just up the road to come over and be your "Barbie" and sounding board but I am always just a text or phone call away.
You do what you need to do for you and your wife. the rest will fall into place somehow, some way. And as always you will be better for doing what you believe in!
Hang tight and hold strong!

Hella more hugs
Star Exclamation Exclamation Exclamation Exclamation Exclamation
_________________
I'm not ready to let go
Cause then I'd never know
What I could be missing
But I’m missing way too much
So when do I give up, what I’ve been wishing for.

Down - Jason Woods

Post Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:44 pm 
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MysteryGirl
Moderators


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder


My dearest, sweet X. I'm a little bit further away than Star even (LOL) but you know that you can always reach me, by email, PM or FB. During my year in the States you were always there to listen to me and I can more than do that for you now. I wish I could do more.

Stay strong, keep your eyes on the road ahead, not at the roadblocks being thrown in your way, hold Laz's hand in yours tightly and keep walking.



HugZ, MG
_________________
Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!

Post Thu Jul 15, 2010 2:12 pm 
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Tracey



Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Posts: 1489
Location: Ayr, Scotland


((((((((((((((((((((((((X)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

remember you have a family here (at Mels) that love you for who you are!

fraid i haven't anything helpful to say
except here listening


*soft gentle hugs for you and Laz*
_________________
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

sometimes i wonder... ' why is that frisbee getting bigger'... and then it hits me

Post Thu Jul 15, 2010 6:32 pm 
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wys2uways



Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 272


Would it be possible to put more physical distance between them and you?
Is it a possibility that you and your wife could move?

Post Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:58 pm 
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lemons



Joined: 12 Feb 2006
Posts: 964
Location: here ... with her <3


(((((((((((((((( hella hugs )))))))))))))))))))


You know me .... you know I know you ..... you know you can find me (or my girl) if you need a thing. I'm sorry it came to this ~ but am so happy you have your girl there by your side.

Give a shout by phone, Mel's or email if you need anything girl. I mean it. Love ya lots (((((((((((((( more hella hugs and smoochies )))))))))))))

Mel
_________________
"No smile is more beautiful than one that has struggled through the tears" ~Unknown

Post Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:59 am 
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Eilidh
Moderators


Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 1880


(((((((((((((((Xalia))))))))))))))))

... or shall I say ((((((((((((Ex-uh-li-ah))))))))))))

I'll never forget your explanation of how to pronounce your name Wink

You are an incredibly strong woman. I know that because you've made it this far. You have further to go and you have a ton of friends here to help you along the way. Keep leaning on us. We're here for you.

Hugs,
Eilidh Arrow

Post Fri Jul 16, 2010 2:22 am 
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Cavewoman



Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 2056
Location: nearby


(((((((((((((( X ))))))))))))))) Exclamation
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" The sorcerers in life are created within each of us" --- Lynn V. Andrews

Post Sat Jul 17, 2010 8:05 am 
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melons
Site Admin


Joined: 06 Feb 2004
Posts: 2371
(((((((((((((((((Xalia)))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry to hear of the troubles you have Xalia and I can't really offer any pearls of wisdom that will be of much help to you, except this thought...

,,,,remember always, you're a wonderful, vibrant, loving woman with a wonderful, kind and loving wife by your side,,,,,so try to concentrate on all the positives in your life because there are so many positives that may help to carry you through this difficult time.

If you want to PM me then I'm here to listen and offer a shoulder to lean on,

Luv'n'hugs always, ((((((((((((((((((((Xalia)))))))))))))))),

Mel xox

Post Sat Jul 17, 2010 11:42 pm 
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Mairi bheag



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 5094
Location: Scotland


X-the-B, remember why I address you that way. I wasn't the first, and I won't be the last.

Thinking about you, hoping things get easier.

Mb
xx

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all posted material (c) Marie Marshall, unless otherwise stated.

Post Sun Jul 18, 2010 1:50 pm 
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MdmPrez



Joined: 16 Oct 2007
Posts: 803
Location: US of A
X

First of all, I'll just put this out here, YOU ROCK!

X, you are one of the smartest, most sensitive, loving people on this site.
I trust your judgment implicitly and believe you are handling things the right way, as hurtful as it might be. I know how much you've loved your mom and I also know many of the things you've done for her, including moving across the country with your wife to be near.
This is her problem, X. It is also her loss. She really needs alot of help and right now you can't be the one to help her.
Sit back, stay in Laz' arms and relish the wonderful woman you have.
Some day, maybe things will change, but for now live your life happily, hopfully and in the knowledge that you are one wonderful daughter.

(((((((((((((((((((( X )))))))))))))))))))))))

Cat

Post Tue Jul 20, 2010 11:33 pm 
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Xalia1
Moderators


Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 3702
Location: In love


Ladies,

Thank you SO much. Over the past few days, whenever things got really bad, I'd log on here and I'd have someone else that responded and knew just what to say. You ladies are absolutely awesome.

So much more has happened...and I'm not going to sit here and crab about it all...but it goes beyond what I ever thought possible.
My ex-friend told all my 'secrets' to my parents...and that was bad enough, but my Mother decided to tell my boss....and that came as a hell of a blow. What kind of parent hears something like that about their child and picks up the phone to try to get her fired over it? Really?
My boss doesn't care. Tada....
The only thing that really concerns me right now, is that my mother's drama is beginning to get in the middle of my bro's new marriage. They are fighting constantly about her and sadly, it looks like it isn't going to end soon. I am trying to help them hold it together, but...its so sad that they have to deal with this when they haven't even been married 6 months yet. If it breaks up their marriage, they haven't even been given a fair shot.
Please keep them in your prayers.
After getting 100+ texts in one day from my ex-friend, my chick and I knew something had to be done...so we could either A) press charges for harrassment or B) Get me a new phone number. I will have a new number as of tomorrow.
Hopefully that will end the drama on my end, cuz I can decide whether or not to read emails or to listen to people when they talk. They don't rule my life.
My wife has still been the rock that has gotten me through..she is beyond amazing. I know as long as I have her hand to hold and my friends at my side, I'm going to be alright.
THANK YOU ALL SOOOO MUCH.
I am the luckiest chick ever to have so much support...you have no idea how much that means to me.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs to each of you)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

You all rock beyond compare,
Xalia Exclamation
_________________
Nobody said life would be easy...They just promised it would be worth it.
~♥♥~
~The words fail me.. because what I feel for you is beyond description...~

Post Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:14 pm 
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MysteryGirl
Moderators


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder


dearest X. thanks for the update. You and Laz have been floating in and out of my mind the last few days and I worried so about you. I spent yesterday with my 91 year old Mother and was reflecting as I drove home on your situation and wondering how it could all have possibly come to this. No doubt you do too Sad I'm so glad your Boss could rise above the petty tale telling and see you for who you are, not someone else's distorted view of your past. The way I see it you are 'enduring a trial', something that seems to come to many good and seemingly blameless people for reasons we just dont understand at the time, if ever. Don't waste anymore time or energy on the 'whys' of the situation, keep on enduring and one day it will be past, I can promise you that. One day, one step, one breath at a time.

All my love to you both.


HugZ, MG
_________________
Be yourself.............everybody else is taken!

Post Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:53 pm 
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Tracey



Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Posts: 1489
Location: Ayr, Scotland


(((((((((((((X & Laz))))))))))))))))

your both amazing women,
this shows how strong you both are


*hugs*
_________________
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

sometimes i wonder... ' why is that frisbee getting bigger'... and then it hits me

Post Wed Jul 21, 2010 3:53 pm 
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Kewl



Joined: 17 Aug 2006
Posts: 305


Hiya Xal and Laz,


It's a shame that your family and former 'friend' is/was putting so much negative energy into your lives.... they are missing out on what could be some of the happiest memories for them.

I'm sorry you are going through such a mess. Been there done it . The best thing you could have done is what you HAVE done . Set the boundaries and keep the distance.

Was talkin to my therapist about this other day...One of the biggest realizations I've had is that we often find that there are those that just seem to fall off of us and out of our lives like wilted leaves.. the analogy for this........ we truly have outgrown them and they leave us alone. ... and while these leaves choose to fade... there's always another tree about to bloom. < Priscilla Jordan Quote>

... you have friends..... (I hope I'm still considered one of them.)

just look in another tree and find the branches you can swing from.

Love,

Argo
_________________
...~paving the way to freedom because not all roads are straight and narrow !~ Kewl

Post Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:40 am 
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