I graduate High School in two days, and I'm scared out of my mind. It's suppose to be fun, its suppose to be exciting. But instead I only feel scared and lonely. Oddly enough I don't even care about leaving the other kids at school. If I keep in touch, thats great, if not, whatever. What really scares me is losing the support system my school always gave me.
Growing up, my family never really cared much. I mean I know they loved me, they just loved themselves so much more. I'm not complaining, I know that not all families are perfect, but still, I always felt alone as a kid, I took care of myself and when I turned 16 I moved out and got a job.
In High School, I attended a tiny school and there I finally felt like people truly cared. The teachers talked to me, they got to know me, and they actually had my best interest at heart. Over the years they showed me they loved me, even though I was just some random kid in their classroom. I felt like I had finally came home.
But now its time to leave, and I feel like I'm losing they only family I ever had. I know it sounds dumb but I feel so unhappy. I don't want to stay in High School, but I just don't want to lose them.
I know this is ridiculous and I just have to get over it, but I really had to tell someone or I'd go crazy....
_________________ Two roads diverge in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
Fri Jun 04, 2010 1:53 am
GreenEyedKiss Moderators
Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Posts: 682
Location: Barony of the Angels in the Kingdom of Caid.
Navygirl, we all have to move on and make our mark upon the world at some point....still trying to make mine and Im pushing 45..lol. But seriously, props to you for being strong enough to do what you had to.
Know that Mels is a safe harbor and a great learning tool when you need good sound advice. This community of women is amazing, you'll see. I've been here 5 years, and Id never dream of letting go of the precious lifelong friends I have made here with ladies all over the globe. Hang in there, and enjoy the ride.
green _________________ "I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm getting it done." ~ADM
"What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others remains immortal"
Wed Jun 23, 2010 12:12 pm
storybellz
Joined: 15 Dec 2006
Posts: 241
Location: U.S.A
hi Navy girl,
I just had to reply because I sort of sympathize with what you're going through. The truth is, understand what you mean about feeling more accepted in your school environment. Even though you realize that you were just one of the bunch. Some teachers can be amazing support systems! I know, because every time I started a new semester at college, I would get attached to the professors! And believe me, that can be a little tricky! I always had to remind myself that these people were being paid to teach me. And while it is possible to love what you do, and to love the people you do it for, we do need to remember that there's a time for everything and everything has its place.
So you can be sure that they valued you as a student, they valued you as a person, and your time. And that high school was valuable to your life. So the way you are feeling is normal, you're just appreciating the value of it all. Yet the odd thing is, it's not very easy to appreciate something and move on from it. They say it's harder if you don't appreciate something and then you lose it. But based on my personal experience, I think the difficulty is about equal.
But, you can be proud of yourself for knowing a good thing when you have it. This will serve you well later in your life. Because what it means is that you have an advantage over others who move on more easily. Hence, whereas others may go merrily from one person to another, not realizing, who really matters, thereby missing out on potentially valuable relationships, your deep sense of feeling will alert you to the people who count.
So keep being yourself and and start thinking towards the future. Because if anything, the best is yet to come! And remember, the past helps create your future. So be thankful for what it has done-- as good as your past was at the high school, imagine how great that means your future will be--- at college(?)
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