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Feeling so alone

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bellatrix_18



Joined: 23 Apr 2007
Posts: 55
Location: U.K.
Feeling so alone

Well I have completely lost my best friend.
She was the first girl I ever fell for. I was in love with her for years. She would always lead me on, Say things about feeling like I was 'cheating on her' when I had a boyfriend and talking about moving in with me and adopting kids... She knew it drove me crazy and I think she loved the attention.

Well I finally did moved on and fell in love with this wonderful woman. We've been together for almost 3 years which made my best friend crazy and jealous. She kept saying things about how now I have a partner I'll just forget about her... Well now she has a partner and guess what... She's forgotten me.

I have been so careful to keep my friend in my life and show her that nothing's changed in out frindship just because I have a girlfriend. We'd talk on the phone almost every day and I'd always make such an effort. But recently she's been more and more distant and hasn't really been talking to me. I kept trying to sort things out but she just said everything was fine between us. However she's had a boyfriend now for at least a month and didn't tell me. I found out through guessing and due to the fact that my sister saw her facebook account. Now she has just stopped contacting me completely and we haven't spoken in about 2 weeks.

We've been friends since we were 13 and I can't believe she'd brush me off like this. I feel so awful. I am a very introverted person and don't even have any other friends. After school I broke away from everyone else (mainly because I wanted to give everything I had to her... so stupid!) and now I feel completely alone.

Just to top things off my little sister (who lives with me and my partner) and my partner have had an arguement so my partner has gone to her dads for the night to get out of the house... so now I'm alone and feeling really crappy. I also feel like I can't talk to her about all this. I have done a few times but she doesn't really like my friend because of all the mind games and the fact that I used to love her makes my partner jealous so she just ends up snapping at me and it just stresses us out.

Anyway sorry for the major rant I just needed somewhere to get my thoughts out.
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Post Sat Mar 20, 2010 5:23 pm 
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SexyKaz



Joined: 28 Jun 2009
Posts: 124


Thinking about you and hoping things get easier.Rant all you like thats one of the things we are all here for is to listen and support each other.

*Hugs* Kaz
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Post Sat Mar 20, 2010 6:24 pm 
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naturelover



Joined: 19 Sep 2009
Posts: 70
Location: East Coast US


yes,,,we are here to "listen"

write more, on here or not. It will help to release the stress from your head. For me, the more I drill on things like this the more I freak out. The more I freak out the more I affect my love ones. That's when I start writing everything down. It really helps.

sending you tons of positive energy. think positive. Wink

naturelover

Post Sun Mar 21, 2010 8:07 am 
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storybellz



Joined: 15 Dec 2006
Posts: 241
Location: U.S.A


Hi bellatrix.

I read your post. And, i just wanted to say that it touched my heart. It reminded me of a situation i went through almost two years ago. When my friend first began ignoring me, i thought she just needed time, but, the more time passed, the more distant she became, until finally, we were completely out of contact.

In the beginning, i would cry, almost on a daily basis, because i felt so abandoned! It was especially hard at night, because we used to always talk on the phone in the early evening, and i really missed that! I felt like (and still feel like) she was the only real friend i ever had, because she was so thoughtful (almost always remembering to call me and such)! And, in that way, she made me feel so special! But, eventually, she saw it fit to end our friendship, for various reasons.

But, today, i can truly say it does get easier! Today, i am thankful to have known her for as long as i did. And, i still consider her a friend, and probably always will. But, she is like a "period piece," good for the memories, but a bit outdated for the present. So, i savor the memories, cause when it boils down to it, that's the gift out of all this.

So, just take it slow. Your heart will heal. And, remember that everyone comes in your life for a reason. And, they stay or leave when they're meant to.

Take care.

Post Thu Mar 25, 2010 7:18 am 
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PipSqueak



Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 987
Location: S.W. England


It might not be true for your friend but she may surface again when the rosy glow wears off.....so frustrating. Then you'll need to decide if you want to be there....
I hope things have settled between your lil sis n gf.
Sending lots of hugs & deep breaths. Smile

Post Sun Mar 28, 2010 9:33 pm 
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bellatrix_18



Joined: 23 Apr 2007
Posts: 55
Location: U.K.


Thanks for the replys everyone. i suppose i will rant abit more then Wink
Storybellz thanks so much for your reply. It really summed up how I feel in so many ways and its always nice to know it does get better. I know my friend will always be someone I care about, even if we don't talk in the future because she was such a significant person in my life and honestly used to care about me.

Things are going really good at home now that my sister has moved out and I don't feel as bad within myself. But things with my friend are still pretty awful. She has been ringing me up once or twice a week now but when she does she makes me feel pretty bad because she has started saying really mean things to me, insulting my relationship and the way I am. Now I'm thinking maybe we shouldn't be friends if she has such little respect for me which hurts so much because I really want the person she used to be back and hate the thought of choosing to walk away from someone who has been such a major part of my life.

I just got engaged to my wonderful partner which has made me the happiest person on the planet Very Happy but also feel like I can't talk to my friend about it as she has been putting down my relationship with my partner a lot recently. I just always imagined her being my maid of honor and helping me choose my dress etc... you know doing the whole 'best friend of the bride' stuff but now I don't see that happening.

But I don't know whether I should still try and try to stay friends. Its been months of problems and I feel like telling her how hurt i feel over and over is just letting her walk all over me Sad Maybe I should give us both space so she can reevaluate whether she still needs me in her life and I can have some time to be happy for myself without this issue looming over my head...
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Post Tue Apr 13, 2010 9:11 pm 
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MysteryGirl
Moderators


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder


quote:
Originally posted by bellatrix_18:

But I don't know whether I should still try and try to stay friends. Its been months of problems and I feel like telling her how hurt i feel over and over is just letting her walk all over me Sad Maybe I should give us both space so she can reevaluate whether she still needs me in her life and I can have some time to be happy for myself without this issue looming over my head...


Bella, you dont need anyone t tell you what to do, you just answered your own question in your words. Right now, this woman is NOT your friend - she is rude to you, she disrespects your relationship and your lifestyle and it's making you very unhappy. These are not the actions of a friend. Concentrate on yourself and your partner and leave this person and her negativity out of your life.




HugZ, Noni
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Post Tue Apr 13, 2010 11:28 pm 
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PipSqueak



Joined: 04 Jul 2008
Posts: 987
Location: S.W. England


Congratulations on your engagement!!

If you take some time out, will you give yourself space from your friend or will you still ponder? She sounds very important to you. Could you meet her to tell her what part you want her to be within your future and ask her if she wants that as well?

Good luck!

Post Tue Apr 13, 2010 11:29 pm 
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bellatrix_18



Joined: 23 Apr 2007
Posts: 55
Location: U.K.


Hey again
Thanks for the congratualtions!! Very Happy

Well its been just over a month since I spoke to my friend. Since then she's text me three times, not to ask me if I'm ok or ask what's going on with our friendship but to give me updates on her life... Seems like another sign showing that the friendship we had was all about her Sad

She has moved away to live with her boyfriend now (about 2 hours drive). I have rang her a couple of times to see if we could talk things through but my calls have been ignored. The thing is we didn't even talk about what was going wrong. Eight years of friendship and its over without even an explaination from either person.

I hate how much I miss her and wish I didn't still care about her so much because its really starting to hurt now. However I've realised that in the past few months she has changed so much that I don't really know who she is any more. I don't think I could answer any personal questions about her as she had stopped confiding in me by the end of our friendship. It just feels so bad to look back at how close we used to be and remember how much she used to support me. We grew up together and its so hard to just forget that.

God I feel so conflicted! Mad

I should probably try to accept that I care about her (and a part of me always will) but the fact that she treats me with such disrespect now means I'm better off if she's not in my life. Maybe in time we'll get back in contact with each other once we've had some time apart.

Thank you so much everyone for your advice! Its great to know that there are such lovely people in the world Smile
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Post Wed May 26, 2010 5:28 pm 
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