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I've Developed Feelings For My Best Friend...

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Schwinn



Joined: 25 Apr 2008
Posts: 2
I've Developed Feelings For My Best Friend...

Sorry this is long, but I’d really like some advice.

Over the past two years, I've gotten to be really close with a friend of mine - someone who I now consider my best friend. Lately, I've been finding that I'm attracted to her. It definitely didn't start out like this, but we've spent so much time together (we're both in college) and I can talk to her about anything...we've become emotionally close and have bonded.

Slowly but surely, I've found myself attracted to her. She's recently gotten a boyfriend - her first one ever. She's always been touchy-feely, and I have not...but she's made me become that way. Or at least brought that side out of me. A month ago when we were both pretty tipsy, she asked me if I've ever questioned my sexuality. I lied and said no. She told me that she did in middle school, but she doesn't anymore. She also pointed out that by nature, many animals are bisexual. I tried to shrug off her comments but I kept thinking about them and still do.

She's made out with two girls before - just to impress guys, she told me. Also, I think about the fact that we're pretty touchy feely with each other so often. The thing is, I don't know if I should look at it as "we're best friends, end of story" - or - is there something more going on in her head? A little?

When we're watching a movie or sitting next to each other we're generally pretty close - closer than necessary...I wouldn't usually let myself be that close to someone when it's not necessary, but I like it with her. She'll put her arm behind the back of my chair (not touching me) or rest her head on my shoulder during a movie. If our legs or feet ever randomly touch she doesn't move and lets them touch...where as my first reaction is normally to move as to not touch someone, but I like it with her.

When we're drinking together she also makes me think about her sexuality. We'll dance pretty close to each other, and she'll put her hands wherever she feels like on me. Lately she's had this "thing" when she's drunk - she'll touch my boob..like jokingly hit it or slap it kind of, and then laugh about it. I'll go ahead and do the same right back to her. She's been doing that a lot lately when we drink, hitting my boobs and then laughing at herself. A couple times she's hit me um..a little lower, if you know what I mean. That kind of surprised me but I liked it at the same time. Most of it's been drunk, but she's also hit my boobs and then laughed sober several times too. I don't know what to make of it.

Also, the other night, I fell asleep in her bed with her. She was more or less passed out drunk, and I was pretty drunk myself. I knew she didn't really know what was going on so I cuddled up to her and put my arm around her stomach like we were spooning. Slowly but surely I moved my hand up and eventually was grabbing/holding her boob (she had a shirt on). I'd move my hand a little, but I kept putting it back to her boob and just holding it for a while...I really liked doing it. I wasn't sure if she was aware that I was doing it (I think she was sleeping or very drunk and not aware what was going on too much) and I didn't want her to come to her senses and realize that I was cupping her boob in my hand and think I was weird, so I moved it. Oddly enough, she reached for my hand, grabbed it and pressed my hand against her boob - I couldn't believe she was doing it, but I definitely let her. After about 10 seconds she moved my hand back and rolled over, and that was that. I didn't know how to take this situation, and we didn't discuss it the next morning – I don’t know if she even remembers it.

Also that night, she made some sort of comment how I wouldn't ever make out with her, and I told her I would. I don't know how, but I remember randomly grabbing her face and kissing her on her lips some part of the night as well - just a short one but it was the first time I've ever kissed a girl on the lips before.

All in all, I am attracted to her. I don't know what she thinks, if she's just messing with me or if she would legitimately like more. Like I said she has a boyfriend, and she's said several times she's not lesbian - I consider myself bisexual. I don't see myself ever talking to her about it but I'd really like to know what's going on in her head. Does she want to do more with me? Would she make out with me if I asked (while drunk) - or would she think I'm weird for it? What was her deal with the whole boob grabbing thing - especially grabbing my hand, putting it on her boob and holding it there? Why did she tell me she's questioned her sexuality in middle school? I'd really like to know what I should do about this....

Post Fri Apr 25, 2008 10:11 pm 
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Eilidh
Moderators


Joined: 09 Apr 2005
Posts: 1880


Schwinn,

Hello and welcome to Mels.

What should you do about this situation? For starters, try staying sober for once! Being drunk isn't an excuse for anything and it can get you into a lot of bad situations. Secondly, if you want to know what your best friend thinks, try asking her directly. If you two can't be honest and open with one another, then what chance do you have at establishing a "deeper" relationship ... or any relationship at all?

Finally, falling in love with your best friend is actually quite common. You can take a look at the many discussion threads around Mels to find such examples. You are not the only one who walks this path, but you are the one who will decide how to approach your own unique situation.
I wish you well.

~Eilidh

Post Sat Apr 26, 2008 1:40 am 
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