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A good age for popping out babies...?

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cupcakes



Joined: 18 Sep 2005
Posts: 324
Location: NY
A good age for popping out babies...?

This may be a bit silly, but what age do you think is good to start having kids?
Lil p and I disagree about when to have kids.

I think that it's better to be older. That way we'll be financially secure (hopefully). And...I like the traditional roles of parent and child that would be more clear if the age gap were bigger.

I think it has a lot to do with how we relate to our own parents. In my family, there are strict roles, Mom is Mom. I can't call her by her name. I am not her "friend." I see a clear and direct distinction between our roles: child and parent. And I like it this way.

Lil thinks that it's better to be closer in age with your children so you'll relate more and be "friends."
She's very close to her mother and sometimes calls her by her name. It's just very different from what I know. I would find it disrespectful to call my mom by her name. But for some reason it works out well for lil and her mom...


So...I guess I can be persuaded...
What do you think?


Sometime within the last two years of joining mels, someone must have wound up my biological clock, cuz I've caught baby-fever! I want one!!!!! now!!!! preferably a chubby one with red curly hair and fluent chinese.

Mad

Post Fri Dec 14, 2007 3:05 pm 
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MysteryGirl
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Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 3419
Location: I come from a land downunder


Having had 3 kids (now all grownups) I think one point to consider (and a lot of people dont) is how old you both will be when they are teenagers and young adults. If you think the baby stage can take it out of you..........well just you wait! I think the women these days who are leaving it til they are in their late 30's/early 40's might be congratulating themselves on how well they have surivied the 2 am feedings and sleepless nights but havent got a clue what they are letting themselves in for when suddenly they are dealing with all the crap one goes thru with teenagers in their 50's or even 60's. At the same time as MENOPAUSE!!!!

Its a thought ladies Smile I had my last at 31 and that was late enough for me.



Noni
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Post Fri Dec 14, 2007 5:00 pm 
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Hawaiian



Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 816
Location: Transplanted to Africa


Young enough to have the energy for a robust chubby redhead yet old enough to have really good health coverage?

I dunno cuppy. Medically, between 20-35 is recommended but ya know, when you're ready for it...cause once it happens there's no good escape.

~Miki
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Post Fri Dec 14, 2007 7:48 pm 
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Phoenix
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Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 1664
Location: Tallahassee Florida


I had my children between the ages of 27 and 33. I am envious of my friends who are turing 40 or 45 and their kids are 18 or 20. They are young enough to enjoy the money they've made, go out without worrying about their kids, and living life. I love my kids, but there is a part of me that is kicking myself for not having kids sooner because I have another 10 years to go before my youngest is 18.

Being a young mother is great if you have the resources. Children are not cheap, you can't guarantee you will have a partner to support you, or family to carry the load. If you really like going out, having fun on the weekends at bars or whatever that requires being up late, then I say, don't have children. If you can't balance a checkbook, pay your own bills, keep a job, then don't have kids. If you have anger management issues, take illegal drugs, drink more than three beers a week, then don't have kids. And if you think you are ready, offer to babysit a siblings small child for a weekend and do a trial run, or just visit a family member for a weekend. Kids cost money, are demanding, make us worry, but on the flip side, they are amazing to watch grow, they give a lot of love, and you will never love anyone the way you love your child.

phoenix
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Post Sun Dec 16, 2007 5:51 am 
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nobodysangel



Joined: 15 Jun 2007
Posts: 429
Location: TN


My mom was 15 when she had me and my twin sister.. that was a baby having a baby! she was a cool mom, more like a best friend really...I had my first child at 18...we have in alot of ways grown up together...she knows that she can come to me with anything....her girlfriend got kicked out of her home a few months back..so now my daughters gf lives with us..and I'm ok with that..there are rules of course..,.I'm 35, my baby will be 18 in October..I've met the woman I love and want to marry..we want to have a child..I will be the one to give birth...I'm hoping to be pregnant by the time I'm 38 or so...Alot of people think I am crazy for wanting to start over..My daughter is old enough now that I can leave her alone, Don't have to worry about getting a sitter etc..all the things that go with having a baby..I've been through it once..Love will make you do things you never thought you'd do...I want a baby, a family with this woman..If it is medically possible I will have another child..Above that if it is in God's plan she and I will have our child...As a nurse I know the risks of having a child past the age of 40..Yet I look at the movie starts that have had babies or are having their first now..marica gay hardern was 48 when she gave birth to twins..marcia cross was in her early 40's..Now there is Halle Berry and Jennifer Lopez pregnant..I believe that love will endure all things..Some couples plan to have a baby..others have a baby by accident...I was raised in a very loving and stable family by a 15 year old mother and 24 year old father. I've raised my daugther the best way that I know how to..Just love her..Phonenix made some very valid points..if you don't have the party lifestlyle out of your system a baby will indeed ruin that party...the rewards of having a child, and watching that child grown up are immense..having the love of your child returned to you , there are no words to explain that..I hope you will make the decision that is best for you and your partner..Good luck..
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Post Wed Dec 26, 2007 7:19 am 
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